Let’s Talk About Suicidal Thoughts
By Kirstie - CEO at Peer Practice
Let's talk about suicidal thoughts.
They're one of those topics that can make people's butt cheeks clench with fear and discomfort. The moment someone says, "I've been having suicidal thoughts," the room can change. People often panic, not knowing what to say or do.
But we don't talk enough about what these thoughts can actually mean.
Why We Need To Talk About Them More
What many people don't realise is that suicidal thoughts are far more common than we tend to acknowledge. About 16.6% of Australians will experience suicidal thoughts at some point in their lives, yet shame, fear and stigma often keep these experiences hidden.
Many of us know someone who has struggled with suicidal thoughts, even if we don't realise it. For something so common, it's surprisingly rare that we have open, honest conversations about it.
When Suicidal Thoughts First Appear
I've personally experienced suicidal thoughts at different points in my life. When I first experienced them at 19, it was terrifying.
What do you mean my brain thinks the best thing for me would be to just not be here?
For many people, suicidal thoughts don't begin with a detailed plan. More often, they arrive as an intrusive thought that seems to come out of nowhere.
It might sound like:
"I don't know if I can keep doing this."
"Everyone would probably be better off without me."
"I just want all of this to stop."
"I wish I could disappear for a while."
"I don't want to wake up tomorrow."
"Life feels too hard."
"What's the point?"
"I wish I could just switch everything off."
"Maybe it would be easier if I wasn't here."
"I'm so tired of fighting."
It's that thought where you don't plan on doing anything, but if a bus happened to take you out, you would almost be grateful for the rest.
For many people, these thoughts can feel shocking because they don't necessarily reflect what they truly want. They're often more about wanting relief from emotional pain than wanting life to end.
When Thoughts Start To Feel Like An Option
At first, it can simply be a passing thought.
But then something can shift.
The energy in your mind changes.
Especially if you start giving those thoughts the light of day and seeing them as an option to end whatever pain you're experiencing.
Anyone who has wrestled with their own mind knows how exhausting that battle can be.
It's one of the toughest things a person can do.
It can feel like pushing a boulder uphill, through sludge, in the rain. And there's a fire.
Every bit of energy goes into trying to overcome the thoughts, silence them, reason with them, or outrun them.
It's exhausting.
What Suicidal Thoughts Mean To Me Now
The difference for me now is that after a lot of personal growth, therapy, reflection, and learning about myself, I see these thoughts differently.
They no longer scare me in the same way they once did.
They're still important.
They're still serious.
But I now recognise them as urgent warning signs.
They're my mind and body's way of saying:
Something needs to change.
Rather than seeing suicidal thoughts as something to hide from, ignore, or battle endlessly, I've learned to view them as information.
A red flag.
A dashboard warning light.
Not something to dwell on, but something to pay attention to.
Seeing The Warning Signs Before Crisis Hits
When we ignore these signs and continue trying to push through with the same routine, the same pressures, and the same expectations, things often get worse. We stay stuck in the fight, hoping things will magically improve while our wellbeing continues to decline.
When we see suicidal thoughts as a signal instead, we create an opportunity to take action.
Questions Worth Asking Yourself
When suicidal thoughts show up, it can be worth pausing and asking:
What is happening in my life right now?
What am I carrying that feels too heavy?
Where am I exhausted, overwhelmed, or disconnected?
What needs to change?
Who can help me?
A Personal Example: Learning To Listen
The most recent time I noticed this thinking creeping back into my life, I realised I was burnt out, unwell, and trying to carry too much on my own.
Instead of ignoring it, I listened.
I booked an appointment with my psychologist.
I talked to my partner (perhaps with a little more emotion than I would have liked!).
I asked for help with some of the responsibilities I was carrying.
And something important happened.
The people around me showed up.
The people who cared about me stepped in when they understood just how much I was struggling.
That's something I've learned over time. Often, the people who care about us don't know how bad things have become until we tell them.
What To Do If You're Noticing These Thoughts
If you're noticing this way of thinking in yourself, try to see it as an invitation for a check-in.
Zoom out.
Take a step back and look at the bigger picture.
What is your body trying to tell you?
What is your mind trying to tell you?
What in your life might need to change?
Where might you need support?
And if you're finding it difficult to do that reflection on your own, that's okay too.
Sometimes when we're overwhelmed, exhausted, depressed, or burnt out, we lose the ability to see the bigger picture.
That's when it's especially important to bring other people into the conversation.
Support Can Look Like:
Talking honestly with a trusted friend.
Reaching out to your partner or family member.
Making an appointment with your GP.
Connecting with a psychologist, counsellor, or mental health professional.
Speaking with a peer worker who has lived experience.
Asking for practical support with work, parenting, finances, or daily responsibilities.
Letting people know you're struggling instead of carrying it alone.
Reaching Out Doesn't Have To Start With The Words "I'm Having Suicidal Thoughts"
It's also important to acknowledge that many people feel uncomfortable, ashamed, or even embarrassed when they experience suicidal thoughts.
You might worry about how people will react.
You might be afraid of being judged, seen differently, or causing concern for those around you. You might even tell yourself, "It's not that bad," or "I don't want to make a big deal out of it."
The reality is that reaching out doesn't have to start with, "I'm having suicidal thoughts."
Sometimes it's simply about being honest about what needs to change and where you need support.
Sometimes It Sounds More Like:
"I'm completely exhausted and I can't keep doing this on my own."
"I'm feeling really overwhelmed lately."
"I'm struggling more than people realise."
"I think I'm burnt out."
"I'm not coping as well as I usually do."
"I need some help carrying some of this."
The important thing is that you're letting someone in on what's really happening.
Being Honest Helps Others Understand
At the same time, it's worth remembering that people can only respond to the information we give them. If we minimise, downplay, or gloss over how much we're struggling, the people around us may not realise how urgently we need support.
If you tell someone you're "a bit stressed" when you're actually barely hanging on, they may not recognise that this is a moment to step in and help.
That doesn't mean you need to be dramatic. It simply means being honest.
The more accurately you communicate where you're at, the more likely people are to understand the level of support you need and how quickly you might need it.
The people who care about you would usually rather know the truth than find out later just how much you were carrying on your own.
Sometimes asking for help isn't about finding the perfect words. It's about being brave enough to let someone see what's really going on.
If You Need Support
And if you're having suicidal thoughts and feel like you don't have anyone you can turn to, please reach out to professional supports.
Lifeline Australia
📞 13 11 14 (24 hours a day)
🌐 lifeline.org.au
Beyond Blue
📞 1300 22 4636
🌐 beyondblue.org.au
Suicide Call Back Service
📞 1300 659 467
🌐 suicidecallbackservice.org.au
Roses in the Ocean
🌐 rosesintheocean.com.au
Provides peer-led support, resources and lived experience suicide prevention initiatives.
Alternatives to Suicide (Wildflower Alliance)
🌐 wildfloweralliance.org/online-support-groups
Provides free peer-led support groups where people can openly talk about suicidal thoughts without judgement.
A Final Thought
You don't have to wait until things become unbearable before reaching out.
The earlier we seek support, the easier it is to make changes before we reach crisis point.
One of the biggest lessons I've learned is this:
Suicidal thoughts often become more frightening when they're ignored.
When we pretend they're not there, continue pushing ourselves beyond our limits, and don't seek support, our minds can slowly begin treating them as a genuine solution.
But when we catch them early, get curious about what they're telling us, reflect honestly, and ask for help, they can become something different.
A warning sign.
A signal.
A gauge of where we're at.
Not a reason to give up, but an invitation to make a change.
And sometimes, that change starts with a simple conversation and the courage to say:
"I'm not doing okay, and I could use some help."